Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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