hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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