your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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