Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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