1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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