Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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