i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
