He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
