He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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