i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize