we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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