i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
