I faked an abortion last night.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't want my vagina anymore.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
