Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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