her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
