We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
