I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
