hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
