So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
