I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
