You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize