I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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