if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm too high and old for this...
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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