oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
