What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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