Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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