She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly