Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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