i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
