I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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