You're completely useless in the revolution.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
