He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
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You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
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Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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