i just had sex bonerless
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize