Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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