You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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