He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
