paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize