mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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