I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
