i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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