I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
