Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
