What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
