I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
