im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
