peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
