I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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