I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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