Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
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