I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
