IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
