physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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