her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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