Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
