The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize