were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize